The Intoxicated Sorcerer

Generic (fantasy) [one page]

Self Published

2020

Complexity: 1

The Intoxicated Sorcerer is a game where you play as a broom that has been accidentally given life by the eponymous intoxicated sorcerer due to a magical accident. Which may not be the strangest premise for a game that I’ve reviewed, but it is certainly up there.

Secret Science Sewer Siblings

Modern (anthro)

Cloven Pine Games

2019

Complexity: 2

Cowabunga dudes, dudettes, and dude-non-binaries! It’s time to check out another radical slice of not-quite-copyright-infringing gaming with Secret Science Sewer Siblings! A totally radical game about sewer-dwelling mutant siblings trying to rescue their kidnapped mentor. Okay, I’m going to stop talking like that now, being totally tubular isn’t as easy as it seems.

Wizard Cops

Generic (crime, fantasy)
Newstand Press
2015
Complexity: 2

Wizard Cops is a very short game about cops that police wizards, and may also be wizards. It is basically an example of a game, and I’m just going to quote its intention. “ It's only a paragraph long, but it is used as an example how a very small number of rules can create very specific conflicts with controlled resolutions.”
So that’s what we’re working with here, and let’s see if this game can break the curse of games titled Wizard _ _ _ _.

Mission: Cupid’s Wings

Unspecified (comedic, fantasy)
Dread Vector
2018
Complexity: 1

You may recall during my review of Revenge of the Turkeys I suggested that I found myself curious if the publisher’s other holiday-themed games were of… let’s just say “similar quality.” So now I find myself looking at Mission: Cupid’s Wings, a Valentine’s Day themed game, where players play as cupids trying to help another cupid named Dreamer who needs to make two creatures fall in love while also being distracted by their own amorous ambitions.

Just Quest

Medieval (fantasy)
Mini Zines
2020
Complexity: basically unplayable

I realized that it’s been 2020 for almost a whole month now and I haven't used a 202X tag yet. So I went to DrivethruRPG and searched for the newest free core rulebooks, and eventually found something that actually was a core rulebook—fun fact: most of the products in the “core rulebook” section are not core rulebooks, because unscrupulous publishes just tag all their products with it so they’ll show up in more searches, and there is no system in place to report publishers who are doing shady stuff like that. Anyway, so I should reasonably be able to review any product in that section as if it were in fact a core rulebook, and would be fair in doing so, which I will now proceed to do.

Revenge Of The Turkeys!

Modern (animal, comedic)
Dread Vector
2017
Complexity: 1

So it occurred to me that every Spooktober I review thematically-appropriate games to go along with the season, but why don’t I do the same for other holiday seasons? Well obviously because Halloween is a holiday that has an entire genre associated with it, whereas other holidays are much more specific and any games that would fit them thematically would have to be specifically made to do so, and likely be a slapdash mess of concept over quality… yeah, that does pretty much sound like most of the games I review.
Note: This is also the first test of a somewhat radical change to my rating system, which will hopefully make the overall score more reflective of the overall quality of the product.

Here Come The Monsters!

The Game of Gargantuans
Modern (giant monsters)
Deep7
1999
Complexity: 2

Here Come The Monsters! is another 1PG game from Deep7, like Shriek!—of which I have a generally positive opinion—and Exosuit A-OK—of which I have a generally negative opinion. It’s also a game about giant monsters, which just happen to be my favorite kind of monsters, so reasonably this should also be a thing that I like.

Final Girl

A Stereotypical RPG
Modern (horror)
Self Published
2019
Complexity: Unplayable

Okay, at this point you might be thinking, “wait a minute, didn’t you literally just review Final Girl?” and no, I reviewed The Final Girl. Final Girl is a game I happened to stumble upon when looking up information on The Final Girl, and decided to review it because… well let’s be honest here, I basically have no standards when it comes to what games I review. It is of course another “what if a horror movie… was an RPG?” game, a specific genre that is apparently very difficult.

Clown Cops

Modern (comedic, crime)
Memento Mori Theatricks
2001
Complexity: 2

That’s right, I’m reviewing another clown-themed game. In fact, I will not rest until I’ve reviewed every clown-themed role-playing game I can find.
On a related note, I will be resting after this because Clown Cops is the only other  clown-themed role-playing game I could find. It’s also one of the most eccentric I’ve encountered. And if you stop and consider the games I’ve reviewed, you may realize that “most eccentric” is a pretty bold claim for me to be making here. Also, it is very important to keep in mind while reading this review that this is a very real game, I am not just making this up. So get some milk and animal crackers and enjoy—no, seriously, those are required to play.

Electric Schemes

Modern
Just Crunch Games
2018
Complexity: 1

Electric Schemes is a “micro-RPG of pre-teen mysteries and bikes” and is in fact a game, of sorts. It definitely presents itself as a game, that is one thing I am fairly sure of.

Lost in the Fantasy World

Medieval (fantasy)
Old Skull Publishing
2019
Complexity: 1

Lost in the Fantasy World is a role-playing game loosely based on a cartoon, loosely based on a role-playing game. And if that sounds weird, remember that there is a role-playing game unofficially based on an anime, based on a series of novels, based on transcripts of a role-playing game.

Aki

A cute little role-playing game
Modern (anime, social)
Rävsvans Förlag
2004
Complexity: 1

Aki is a game inspired by slice-of-life shoujo manga… alright, well if anyone’s still here it’s a gave about ordinary life and social interactions--they are very clear on the point that there is nothing extraordinary and/or exciting, just relationships and stuff like that. It’s also apparently a “Triple Dogma award winner 2004” for best rules, most creative, and best graphic design. I can’t really find any information of the Dogma awards, but I assume it’s just a Swedish thing. Oh yeah, this game is Swedish, probably should have mentioned that. However I will be reviewing the English version, since as far as I know I do not speak Swedish--I do like Donald Duck though.

Awaiting the End

Universal
Future Proof Games
2014
Complexity: 1

Awaiting the End is a game about “a group of people awaiting a doom in an unpleasant place,” which makes it only slightly more uplifting than Camwhores. It’s also a GM-less game focused almost entirely on storytelling, which is the sort of thing that usually end up being a bit too role playing and not enough game for my tastes.

Squirrelfriends

A Game of Nuts & Squeaks
Modern (animal)
Dice Up Games
2019
Complexity: 1

After some of the somewhat negative reviews I’ve been doing lately I wanted to cover something that was light, fun, and happy--because my next review certainly isn’t going to be. So I will now be looking at Squirrelfriends, a one-page RPG about everyone’s favorite bushy-tailed rodents.

Wizard Time

A Roleplaying Game of Arcane Arts

Medieval (fantasy) presumably
Self Published
2018
Complexity: only technically playable

Wizard Time is another one of those one-page RPGs I’m so fond of reviewing because they take very little time to read. Now I’m not entirely sure what I expected from this game, but I can say with a high level of confidence that it absolutely did not deliver. Aw snap, I’m not supposed to tell you the game is bad until the actual review. I’ve gone and killed the suspense.

I should probably warn y’all that this is going to be one of those angry salty reviews, as opposed to of the usual sassy but good-natured ones.

Herzfuck

Modern (horror, occult)
Left Hand Publishing
2017
Complexity: unplayable as presented

Here’s the thing about edginess: a little bit is tolerable, a moderate amount brings back cringe-inducing memories of angsty teenage antics, a lot is just sad, and an extreme amount becomes comical—whether intentional or not. I find that things with “fuck” in their title tend to fall into the latter two categories.
Herzfuck is yet another one-page role-playing game, which puts the players in the role of… well just kinda regular folks trying to stop a cult from summoning the titular “ancient demon of sex and murder.”

Shriek

The Game of Teen Horror
Modern (horror)
Deep7
1999
Complexity: 2

When I first saw the cover art for Shriek I had really high hopes for it. At this point I’m assuming you’ve glanced back at the cover and have now returned expecting some sort of explanation that makes me not seem like a crazy person. Well, I can’t make myself not seem like a crazy person, but I can explain that making a game based on cheap horror films actually look like a cheap horror film is a great idea. But I won’t get too much into that right now.
Anyway, back to reviewing. Shriek is another ones of those one-page RPGs that I’ve taken to reviewing as of late—also I realized I haven't reviewed anything from the ‘90s. So this is going to be another short review.. Unless I go off on some weird tangent, which is always a possibility.

Console: Handheld

Medieval (fantasy)
Self Published
2009

Console: Handheld is the third in a series of games intended to recreate the feeling of a CRPG, plus it’s a pocket game, and I’m on a bit of a micro game kick at the moment.
The interesting thing about Console: Handheld is that rather than just being a handheld game based on console RPGs, it a handheld game based on handheld console RPGs; seeming to take the bulk of its influence from the early SaGa—aka Final Fantasy Legend—series. Honestly the influence is so strong that I’m not sure if I should be considering this a SaGa fan game or not.

Phones of Glory

Modern
Bully Pulpit Games
2018
Complexity: 1

So I wanted to mix up my random selection method, so I decided to just go to free rule books and review whatever the newest title was. And that title was Phones of Glory, a game about civic engagement. Now this isn’t really a role-playing game in the strictest sense, or any but the loosest sense—the same sense in which any social interaction is a role-playing game—but as I’ve often stated, this is my blog and I just kinda do whatever I feel like. This will however, be a super short review.
Wait a minute, did I just call life a LARPG?

Cookie Jar

Modern (crime)
Post World Games
2011

Well, randomly selecting a game to review seemed to work out pretty good last time, so I did it again. This time I will be looking at Cookie Jar, which at just over 500 words is the shortest game I’ve reviewed, and my shortest review to date.
Cookie Jar is a game of crimes, or rather the accusation of, denial of, and concession to crimes. And while it may be a very little game, it’s definitely an interesting little game.