2018-05-05

TWERPS: The World's Easiest Role-Playing System

Universal (comedic)
Reindeer Games, Gamescience
1987
Complexity: 1

Introduction
Published in 1987, TWERPS is one of the first “superlight” roleplaying system. The game was originally published in a pink 4.5×7-inch 8-page booklet—i.e. It is very very small. The minds behind this madness were Jeff & ‘Manda Dee—yes, the Jeff Dee who did some of the best D&D illustrations. So let’s get into this unnecessarily complex review of an unnecessarily simple game. 

Character Creation: 2/5
Character creation in Twerps is an excessively simple affair. First roll a d10 and compare the result to a chart to generate your character’s Strength score, next remark on how simple that was. While this system does have a remarkable lack of depth and options, it also doesn’t need depth or options—it also happens to be the only system I know of where a character can be rolled up in less than 5 seconds.

Mechanics: 3/5
As noted above, TWERPS characters have 1 attribute: Strength. As such, Strength is added to rolls, used to determine movement speed and turn order, and even functions as hit points. While this is very easy, it’s also the system’s biggest flaw. Having a single attribute more or less translates to an “objective value” score—i.e. a character with Strength 4 is objectively worse at everything than a character with Strength 5.

Skill checks are made by rolling 1d10, adding current Strength, and comparing to a difficulty of 1–10 set by the GM—although generally 3 is the lowest roll you can possibly make. Combat is resolved similarly, except attacker and defender both roll, add Strength, and if the attacker’s roll beasts the defender's the attack is successful and damage is dealt. Damage reduces a character’s Strength—which does cut down a bit on the “objective value score” aspect since Strength scores change during play—a character reduced to Strength 1 is unconscious, Strength 0 is dead. As far as I can tell—see below—combat occurs in two phases, first a movement phase where characters move in order of lowest to highest Strength, then an attack phase where attacks are made in order of highest to lowest. As damage reduces a character’s strength, taking a hit also knocks a character down further in the initiative order if they have yet to act.

After a successful combat all living characters’ current Strength scores return to normal and receive 1 “victory point” which can be spent to increase their Strength score. A maximum Strength score isn't noted, but the included character sheet only tracks Strength up to 10, so it may be inferred that 10 is a soft cap. Once again there’s a remarkable lack of depth, but there’s not supposed to be depth, there’s supposed to be simplicity and that’s what it delivers.

Writing and Presentation: 2/5
The rules are presented in a fairly straightforward and clear manner and generally makes good use of their limited space. As previously stated, this is a 4.5×7-inch 8-page booklet, which means that the entire game takes up an area less than two sheets of letter or A5 paper—front and back. I feel that bears repeating as they were working with severely limited space, and the rules themselves are contained almost entirely within four of those pages. The rules are laid out in a series of 5 numbered sections, there are really no distinct breaks between sections and a few page breaks in places where they ideally wouldn’t be, but I’m willing to forgive that based on them just not having the space… or did they? Here lies my biggest issue, the “Other Actions” section, which has two references pointing to, and itself more-or-less just says to see another section. It just strikes me as an odd decision to waste so much of their limited space on a redirect. Now above I stated that combat took place in two distinct phases “as far as I can tell,” this is because that is never explicitly stated, and the sections for movement and combat are separated by a section detailing how damage does or does not affect turn order, even though damage has yet to be discussed at that point. Basically, there’s a series of 3 paragraphs that feel really out of order and 1 that’s unnecessary. 
There’s only a few illustrations in the whole book—which I remind you again is only 8 pages—and they’re fairly simplistic. Which is exactly as they should be. The art style basically says “simple and kida silly” just as well as—and probably better than—any of the text. I mean seriously, look at this illustration of Strength.
If that doesn't make you want to play this game, nothing will.

Content: 3/5 [•]
While TWERPS might not have a lot of content, it certainly has a lot of content for its size. In addition to the general rules the book also contains a small selection of weapons and armor, and an short introductory adventure. Additionally, the book originally came bundled with character sheet, a hex map, and a selection of cardstock chits featuring more of the distinctive art. This one’s my favorite.

TWERPS is an interesting little game that’s simple but effective. What it lacks in depth it makes up for in obscene simplicity, and technically provides everything you need for a complete game. Is it something to use for your weekly gaming session? No. But is it something to pull out for a quick game with zero prep? Maybe.

Base Points: 9
Character Creation: 2/5, Mechanics: 3/5, Presentation: 4/5
Adjustments: −1
Setting: N/A, Writing: −1, Content: +0

Overall Score 53% (8/15 Points)
More than you’d expect, but not much.

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